A Word on Healthy living

I remember my Grandfather as a big Grandpa.  Everyone else had these little old men dressed in jogging suits and my Grandpa was big.  He was tall, like 6 foot 2 tall and farmer strong.  His shiny white hair was my hint that this tall man was a real live grandpa. Now he sit in his chair, so fragile and his eyes scream confusion and frustration as he looks at me unknowingly, "who is this young girl? why is she in my room?" I'm sure that this is what he's thinking before he gives up on trying to figure it out and falls back asleep.  I think that he is escaping, I think his Alzheimer's has him at a point where he knows he is confused and he knows he is weak and he is frustrated...so he sleeps, it is his way of avoiding the stress of being awake.

Seeing my Grandpa was hard this weekend.  It broke my heart to see him so sick and started me thinking about my own life and the way in which I live it now.

 Bikram taught us that stress is one of the number one killers in life, and I think that most of us spend our lives escaping and suppressing the anxiety producing stress which in the end creates sickness.  I think as a yoga teacher and future health coach, it is my responsibility to help people find healthy pathways in their lives to create healthy and happy lives for themselves.  So what are somethings that we can do to be  healthy and happy???  Good question.

1. Acceptance.  This is one thing I struggled with for a long time, and really still do.  For so many of us, we expect our bodies to look and feel a different way, but the truth of the matter is, our bodies, just like our fingerprints have a specificality to them.  No two bodies are the same and no two bodies are supposed to look the same.  A healthy body does not always mean you are the tallest, leanest, perfect hair, perfect breasted, tightest assed woman in the room. A healthy body is one that you take care of, one that can take walks, give hugs, pick up puppies and groceries, one that can love others, make babies, go to work and come home at the end of the day and cook dinner.  A healthy body is one that can run, jump, bike, do yoga and DANCE! One that can celebrate the accomplishments of it's self and it's loved ones, a healthy body FEELS GOOD!  So I think the first thing we have to do to be and stay healthy is accept our selves for who we are.

2. Appreciation.  With acceptance comes appreciation.  Once I was asked what I liked about my self, and truthfully I couldn't answer, so I was asked to appreciate my self.  Appreciate my legs because I can walk, run, jump, stand on one leg and touch my fore head to my knee.  So the bottom line here, is sometimes if it is hard to love everything about yourself, appreciate all that your body does for you.  With appreciation comes respect, and if you respect your body you will most likely treat it more kindly.

3. Food.  This is a tough one.  So after seeing my grandfather, I was able to spend time with my God mother.  I was so blessed to wake up early and find her lying on the couch with a book.  We spent some time talking before the rest of the house woke up, both of us have struggled with food for a good portion of our lives.  Different issues but the same none the less. Whether it was over eating or under eating, food, diet and weight control became a form of escape.  Leading us to question what it really means to have a healthy diet.  For me, I think diet is a very personal thing, and an impossible thing to just master without getting to know yourself first.  How do you know what you should put into your body, if you haven't taken the time to figure out what your body needs?  I do know a few things.  I know that to go on a diet is not the answer.  To establish a healthy eating life style just might be though.  Figure out the things you love to eat, figure out the things that are good for you that you love to eat, eat from the earth, the natural stuff is so much tastier than all the other junk, you just have to give it a chance, and know that there is always more tomorrow, so if the Rita's water ice tasted so good you need more, go for it...TOMORROW, don't over do it tonight.  I think learning about food and nutrition is important, and fun.  So experiment, learn something new and then make it for dinner, and be forgiving and allowing with your self.  There is no shame in loving food, it's a necessity in life, why not enjoy it!

4. Movement. The 89 year old man who sat at my table the other day, who ordered a full tea with a peach scone told me the key to looking "this good at 89"  "A body in motion will stay in motion" So whether it is running, biking, dancing, YOGAING, walking, weight lifting, playing soccer just get out there and MOVE!!!!!  Keep moving and don't give in to being too tired, no energy, too busy.  Just find some time to keep you body moving.  And of course.... a yoga plug.  Bikram yoga exercises every system, organ, muscle in your body it will heal your body mind and soul, so do more yoga!  And if your a runner, biker, soccer player, basketball player, weight lifter know that these activities are hard on your joints, so enjoy them into old age, but be sure to take a yoga class here and there to protect and heal your self.

5. Positivity.  And finally, this week when I thought about all the things I can do to ensure that I'm living both healthfully and happily was to see the good.  Yes, there is a lot of stuff out there that sucks.  Whole foods sold out, the unemployment rate is still so high, the republicans and the democrats hate each  other, and your room mate didn't do the dishes again! But we can not be consumed by it.  Awareness is important, but also knowing that what you do is making a positive impact on the world is important to.  So rather than focusing on the bad, why not focus on all of the good things you can do and see in other people.  I think in the end we will find if more people make a positive change in themselves, we will see that the rest of the world, probably isn't so bad!

So I come back to my Grandfather, sitting in his chair with his sweet nurse by his side.  He lived a full life with a beautiful wife and five successful daughters.  He has eight grand children, who are busy figuring it out, he has seen China, Russia, Israel, and can dock a boat and cook a steak.  My Grandfather can't remember any of it any more.  He sits in his chair sorting his mail and it brakes my heart as well as puts a little bit of fear in me.  When I am 86, I want to be at my granddaughter's wedding and I want to see my second oldest daughter achieve her dream of getting her PhD at 61, so with this in mind I want to spend my days today being healthy, being happy and helping others do the same.

Ok....the next three postures are all about your patience and concentration....

I say this every time I teach, as soon as Eagle is over and people put down their water bottles, I go into my little spiel.  "The next three postures are about your patience and concentrations...your patience with yourself and your body today and your concentration on your mantra..." Today...what is your mantra?  In class, I repeat the words of Bikram,"Lock the knee, Lock the knee LOCK YOUR GOD DAMN KNEE ( ok, I don't say the last part, but if I was the boss I would!)"  Any way, so outside the hot room, what's the word, what do I say to stay focused, concentrated, present?

This has been my challenge this week.  NEWS FLASH: sometimes, even Yogi's have bad weeks and SOMETIMES, even Yogi's have a hard time getting out of their own heads long enough to remember the mantra.  Sometimes, I lay on my back, stare into space and I want to say " breathing in I calm my self, breathing out I smile," but what comes up is; " what the *?@# are you doing? why did you go and ruin everything, your are so ridiculous to even think things would happen for you" WHOA...WHAT? WHO the heck is saying such a thing?  It's hard ya know I'm a work in process, we all are, so sometimes I slip up, and sometimes, I don't treat myself oh so very nice.   And truth be told, this week I've had a lot of time and a lot of arguments with myself.  The two sides of me fighting to find harmony. "Where does hate start? It starts in you....you heart hates your lungs, you mind hates your body and your soul has no interest in a bad body and a screw lose brain"  We have to get our three parts, mind body and soul working together, than and only than we can love others, which will in the end only help us to find happiness in our lives.

So what do we do? What do I do? Well I have to step back into myself and become really MINDFUL.  Why is my ass 5x bigger than it was yesterday and why is it hard for me to get words out, why does it feel like my skin is crawling? Oh...what's that feeling? What's that emotion? Cause news flash, second one today FAT is not a feeling, so we most be feeling something else (and I use "fat" because that is my challenge, you can fill in the blanks with your own)  So maybe I'm feeling ANGRY, can you believe it? Angry, me? Am I even suppose to feel that?  I have to, we all have to accept that an emotion is just energy, not good or bad but necessary to be dealt with.  So I'm angry this week, I still truly haven't figured out why.  Maybe it's frustration with my happenings, maybe it's jealousy, maybe it's....oh who knows, I'll have to figure it out later.  But if I can identify my emotion, accept it and then, guess what meditate on it, use the energy to kick my foot up over the top of my head and stretch forward towards the mirror until, maybe someday, I'll be in standing split.  My emotions and my fears are for real, so are yours but we can't let them define us.  We are not an ANGRY person, a sad person, a jolly person, we are all of these a complete and full person which is the most beautiful way to be. So I guess in the end, these emotions are a sign that we are normal human beings it is how we deal with them which makes us great.

So tonight, I'm trying I'm working on my self and meditating on what I want.  All in all, I want to be happy and I want to be healthy, and I have that, so I should be satisfied.  That is not to say I shouldn't dream.  I have large dreams.  My dreams are to bring this yoga to people who are in need in finding a path towards health, people in recovery from dangerous life styles, people who are seeking to learn about their bodies, how they work and what the run on in order to become stronger versions of themselves, and I get frustrated because I get overwhelmed.  How can I? Little me? Possibly have such a big dream and see it come to fruition? Alex tells me to be patient and stay concentrated, " visualize it Molly, See it!"  Oh man, I hope he's right!

So how do I sign off tonight? What note should I leave on? A high one? Why not?  So my friends, being happy is hard work.  Don't ever think, that one day you will wake up and life will be any easier....if it was easy it wouldn't be as good as it is, so wake up every morning and know that you are in control.  You have control over two things your breath and your reaction, so breath through it, stay calm, accept the moment and feel good.  Wake up every morning and appreciate at least five things in your life, appreciate at least five things about your self, and go with it!  Face each moment as it comes, don't get to far ahead of yourself, and embrace ALL your emotions.  Sometimes punching a pillow helps too!  I just do more yoga, sweat it out baby!


So good night all, much love to you all! Be patient with yourself, your perfect and your doing the best you can as long as you are doing the best you can, concentrate on the moment and the goal.  See it! Visualize it!

Namaste

Molly

A day in the life of a yogi teacher...a two part post!

Part One...Best Decision I ever made...A day in the life...

6:30 am...a rustle from the floor, and a whimper is my wake up call...time to walk the pups. This early hour may seem too early for some, but yogi's don't need sleep and the morning hours are my favorite, so I sneak out of bed pick up the pup, put my shoes on and go for my first morning stroll. 6:30 in the morning the house and the city are quiet, the sun is out in early July, and the heat is on. These are the hours where I sit with myself, quietly, I enjoy the stillness of my house while looking forward to see what today will bring...these days, I'm not sure what my days entail, so I trust that something great is bound to happen!

9:00 am, a pitter patter from the steps wakes me up from the couch...did I say yogis don't sleep...errr umm....sometimes, after a warm bowl of oatmeal a little nap feels good, just a little one...

So this is where no day remains the same, so I'm going to write about my favorite days as a yoga teacher since yoga training! These are the days where I go to work...did I mention that my work right now is doing yoga. My karma yoga is bring health and happiness to others and I do this by teaching others how to appreciate their bodies and all that they do for us as well as maintain a healthy life style. This job does not mean I just teach yoga, it means I do yoga. I have to make sure that I am practicing what I preach, continuing my practice of becoming a healthier, happier, better version of my self! (keep in mind, I'm making up times, I don't necessarily teach or practice at these times...but the bottom line is my favorite days are where I'm teaching two classes and taking one!)

11:00 am, walk down two blocks to pick up the trolley. One token takes me under the river to Center City where I will spend most of my day.

11:30 arrive at the studio, Bikram Yoga Philadelphia has a spirit. This studio has so much energy it thrives on a community of love and honesty and it makes you feel good just to sit on one of the big pillows in the lobby and talk yoga with one of it's very many students

12:00 "Hey Guys! How's it goin'? For those of you who don't know me yet, my name is Molly and I AM YOUR YOGA TEACHER!" flash forward 88 energetic minutes later..."Thank you so much for being here today, you guys worked so hard, you have inspired me to become a better student and a better teacher, now take two minutes to your self, enjoy this time, just breath, just relax and breath!"

3:30 by this time, I've had a snack, I've read dialogue, probably called Alex, went for a walk around the city and sat around the studio just chatting. The clock strikes 3:30 and I am in the center of my mat, concentrated, meditating. 89 minutes later I am in Savasana, breathing, I am here...I am comfortable...I am happy

BAM...5:30, I'm changed, third yoga kit for the day and I'm back on my feet in the hot room, teaching my second class. More energized, a little smarter and a little more warmed up. Man, I love this job!

After class, I hang around for a bit, chatting (seriously how much yoga can one talk...ummm a lot!) I throw in a load of towels, (yup that's right, all those sweaty towels, they don't scare me) and I head back to the trolley, on my way back West to my little home in West Philly!

I walk in the door and a healthy, balanced meal is cooking, it just needs some final Molly touches, some Thai Basil in the salad, a little cinnamon and cayenne on the Salmon and a little splash of love... it makes every meal better. I'm still running on high, so full of energy from my day in the hot room. Alex and I unwind together and it's not long before one of us mentions how grateful we are. Can you imagine? Two people working so hard to fulfill their dreams, going to work every day and THAT is one of the best parts of their days. Together they meet and talk about all the amazing things they are proud of accomplishing in one day and thank each other for supporting and loving one another. Think of it....

So, following my dream and beginning my new path was the best decision I have ever made. When I am focused on it I can see my future and it's fabulous...I just have to keep on working...

And then there's the flip side...the hard work, the work that sometimes doesn't feel all that great.

Making this decision meant I had to sacrifice a lot, I wrote about that a lot in my last entry. With all the amazing things that are happening also came a loss, a loss of comfort, security, organization, routine and of course with loss comes grief. So there are a lot of hours since I have been back that I've been sad, anxious, angry, wanting to cry wanting to punch. A lot of my old demons are creeping in and screaming loud to me. "Your not good enough, you'll never be able to do this." This makes me crazy! How can I heal others if I'm not feeling one hundred percent healed myself....oh that's right...

I think part of my process is discovering answers. My demons, my insecurities may never go away but now my work becomes identifying them, dealing with them and then sharing with others how to let go of them. What do you do when you feel like the fattest girl in the room? The ugliest girl in the room? That you are a failure, the worst, never just quite good enough? What do you do when you want to isolate, crawl in a room and hide from the outside world? What do you do when you want to retreat, return to an earlier, less healthy but "easier" life? hmmmm good question. This is my work right now. I'm teaching yoga, doing yoga, and when I'm not in the hot room it continues. My yoga practice, outside the hot room, becomes being present, appreciating all that I can do and all that I have. Seeing my emotions not as good or bad, but as what they are, waving to them, dealing with them and letting them pass by. My yoga practice becomes remembering that you can't hold on to anything, not your good days or your bad days but appreciate both and what you get from each. From all of my bad days I have become so strong, I have found myself as an individual worthy of love and happiness and I remain focused on that happiness, because MY GOD IT IS SOOOO WORTH IT!!!! Happiness is good don't be scared of it! Seek it, find it, embrace it and remember good days will follow bad. Life is a wave with ups and downs so lie down on your back, open your eyes, gaze at the clouds and let yourself be carried away!

Ok...so the two sides of my life right now as a yoga teacher, are the absolute joy I find in teaching and practicing yoga and the struggle I continue to have as I work towards my dreams. Both sides keep me going and both sides keep me strong....so for now, stay focused on what you want and be mindful of the way in which you live. Everything you do, say, work for, act on should all be done with love in your heart. Love for yourself, love for your friends and love for strangers, we're all just trying the best we can, doing what we know and if you disagree...teach you self, your friends and the strangers, we're all in this together! Yoga means union right!

ok, so it's almost 2:00 and my belly is craving some fruit salad before I hit the hot room. 4:30 teach a class 6:30 take a class!

Much love to you all

Namaste

Molly