The week before Miles was born my sister called me. I was huge, lying on the couch praying that my little boy would come a week early when my sister propositioned me, "Molly, what do you think about opening up a yoga studio?" Now this had been my dream since the very early days of doing yoga. I remember my teacher, Leo, asking me when I was going to go to training, I remember my first words to my future husband, "oh no, I'll never be able to afford to go!" I remember the conversation with my mom, on the train in London, "Mom, I'm going to teacher training, I'm quitting my job in April and going to LA for 9 weeks." and I remember crying as my sister muttered the words that would make my dream come true. I said "umm, yes." but inside I was screaming "NO! I'm having a baby next week, NO this can not happen now!"
I didn't think it would be possible, to open a business and become a first time mom all in the same year, I just wasn't sure how it would work, but at teacher training we learned to have faith. To have faith that if you work hard, if you stay present than you can do absolutely anything, so I jumped. I started the search for the perfect location and my sister and I started making plans, talking budget and hashing out logistics.
Just a bit over 3 weeks ago, Bikram Yoga Doylestown opened it's doors. It has been amazing! Amazingly exhausting, amazingly fulfilling, and amazingly exciting. Since our doors have opened my husband and I have been tag teaming, we slap five and say "ok go, you have Miles now for the next 2 hours" We are both working hard creating something that is meaningful, working hard at being good parents, maintaining a home (kinda) and staying on top of our relationship. It get's tough.
Last Tuesday, I taught the 5:30 am class, I took the 9:30 and was heading back to the studio to take the 4:30 and do checkin for the 6:30. I was so tired, I was approaching the studio and I remembered the other thing I learned at teacher training, that I was stronger than I knew! I thought to myself, you did this at teacher training, you dragged your tired ass to class and you did all 26 postures sometimes even with a smile of your face, you can do it again. So I did.
Last Friday night I cried. My sister was in town for the Grand opening, I was packing my bag for work as she and my hubby fixed dinner for the kiddos (Miles and his perfect cousin Lyla). I felt like I was missing out, I was missing out on dinners with my bub, good night kisses and all the tiny monumental firsts that happen one million times a day right now. As I started the class I remember one more thing. In order to take advantage of every moment, in order to find joy in what ever it is I am doing, I need to stay present. We preach it in the Hot Room, but it has to be put into practice out side. Instead of getting sad about missing moments later, I should have just hugged my little guy and found peace in his smile, in his smell and his touch. That is how I can be a very busy working mom, while maintaing the feeling of being very involved in my little guys days.
So, Bikram Yoga Doylestown has completed a part of my life. It has given me an outlet to share my love of this yoga and to support others in their journeys towards health, wellness, wholeness and completeness. I am working on putting my computer down (although it is so hard, I am constantly checking to see if we have any new likes! Up to 751 already!!!) and cherishing each moment I have with my hubby and my son. I am working on staying present and enjoying each moment. I have been finding peace in the quiet time I have cleaning the studio and I have found strength in teaching and practicing with a very tired body.
Before I started typing I re-read what I wrote in my last post, ya know in JUNE! At the end I had listed what I was learning about being a mommy and a yogi. Now I can reflect on what I have learned from being a mommy, a yogi and a studio owner!
1. Things are always going to be hard, there will never be a better time than now to get things done.
2. Have faith. Things work out, locations fall through, but better ones pop up, budgets get blown, but cuts can happen else where, have faith that things will have a way of working out. ( I forget this one A LOT)
3. Stay present. To me, this is the most important. Life is busy, we all have lists, and fears, and anxieties but stay present in the very moment. What ever it is you are doing, breathing in Savasana, vacuuming, nursing your baby at 3am when your alarm is going off at 4:14, give that task your 100 percent attention and participation. This is joy. Keep it simple, don't bother with getting to far ahead of your self.
4. You are stronger than you could ever imagine. You can do things you don't think you can, your body can do it, you just have to trick your mind into believing it.
Ok, Miles is at school, and I have 30 minutes before I have to head back to the studio, so I'm going to try to get some cleaning done! If you are in the area come visit me at Bikram Yoga Doylestown, I would love to see your Happy Smiling Face!
Much love to you,
P.S. I'm not sure how much sense this posts makes, remember I'm pretty tired!