Then week 6 happened, this is the middle of training, your body is exhausted your mind is full and there is not much left of you that doesn't hurt. Not to mention you haven't slept in 6 weeks. Jim Kallet took the podium once again. Now as much as I loved this guy, the man could talk...and talk...and talk...and this day, this class, Jim had a lot to say. It was a hot class. I was in row 10, standing dead center, in front of the heater, behind 500 other sweating yogis. This was the class where I died. You know what I'm talking about, your breathing becomes difficult in Pranayama, your heart starts racing as soon as you put your arms above your head and you think to your self, "shit, I have 85 more minutes of this" I never left the room at training, and after the first day, I never sat out another pose, this class tested me on every level. Physically, I had to stay on my feet, mentally, I had to stay with my breath and emotionally, I had to do everything I could not to burst into tears. But hey man, if I can survive a class like this, what can't I survive. I remember getting to Spine Twist. The final posture of our 26 and 2. Jim was going on and on and on, probably about the benefits or maybe something a little bit deeper, I'm not sure cause my mind was a skipping CD " Shut the fuck up, shut the fuck up, please God shut the fuck up" I needed to get out of the room and I needed this man, whom I had grown to love deeply to simply shut the fuck up! The pose seemed to go on forever and as much as I pleaded, Jim kept on going.
This is the final week of pregnancy, you have spent 9 months (not so different from 90 minutes in a hot room or 9 weeks at teacher training, see a pattern) waiting, falling in love, learning about all of the things your body is capable of doing. You have spent 9 months accepting all of things you can't control, how your body feels on a given day, the aches, the pains, the hard days, the amazing days, the days when you can't stop crying and the days you feel like super man. You have fallen in love with that little peanut on the inside but during week 40 your skipping cd of a mind has one thought "come the fuck out, come the fuck out, please God come the fuck out!" Don't get me wrong, I love this little guy and I will host him for as long as he wants to live on the inside and I will take good good care of him, but that is not to say that the waiting for labor is not absolute torture. It is the world's longest Spine Twist. You have done every thing, you have gotten over all of the humps and the hard moments and you are ready to enjoy that big, scrumptious glass of Red Wine, I mean water...after yoga you drink water! So what can you do? What do you do in class, when the end is near, you can feel the fresh air that is pressing in from the outside, but the teacher just won't stop teaching, what can you possibly do?
Well, my friend, that is why we do the yoga. That is why we have long, hard, hot classes that test us in every possible way. So that when you are nine months pregnant, your bladder is constantly full, the cramps on your inner thighs make it difficult to do all the walking every one reminds you you should be doing, you remember that every moment you are in the room, all ninety minutes of hard work only make the other 22 and 1/2 hours you have outside of the room better. Each moment you spend suffering in the hot room is another moment you get to enjoy of life on the outside. So as I sit here, only one day late, which means I could quite possibly have 9 more days as a pregnant woman, I have to remember that what I'm doing here is great. That this hard hard work ends with an amazing reward, a perfect little baby boy. Every moment he has on the inside is another chance to make him stronger for life on the outside! So patience my friends. Yoga is a practice in patience. You know it is, you hear it all the time Patience, Self-control, Concentration, Faith, and Determination. In the mean time, as I wait and wait and wait, it is another day I get to go take a yoga class, another day I get to eat a brownie with out too much guilt and another day that I make my little man a little bit stronger, with just a bit of patience! But with that in mind, let's say it together "please come the fuck out!!!!"
Namaste and Much love to you all,
M & M ( we are still one)
Oh and don't forget that this week is National Eating Disorder week. Try going a day with out make up, I know I probably won't, but if you feel up to it, try it and embrace your natural beauty. Say something kind to yourself and do something extra special to show your self just how amazing you really are. I know what you could do! Go take a yoga class!!! There is nothing better you can do for yourself!!!!