Sunday, May 22, 2011

Week Five--oh there it is..

Oh hey homesickness, I was wondering when you were coming. Thanks for finally showing up.

So week five...bam half way there baby! Week five started off so high, I thought last Monday was the best yoga ever, that was until this Monday popped up and blew my mind. Martha Wright started off the week with best yoga class of my entire life, I literally cried out of pure joy. Her class was so much fun, she sang, we sang, she told jokes we laughed and I swear to God (or who ever) my standing bow, my floor bow, my back bends EVERY posture was the best posture I have ever done. And then she topped it off, at the end of class she played one of my all time favorites Bob Dylan's "Forever Young" and I immediately relived the past 3 years of my life and I cried. I was so happy laying there in Savasana thinking about where I have come from, all that I have gone through and what I have accomplished with pure patience, faith, determination, self control and concentration. I thought about my mom, my dad, my sister, Alex, my house, my puppies, my self and I felt a swell of gratefulness for all that I have. Oh and then Bikram kicked our asses Monday night. But this week I'm not going to tell you about all of the great yoga I did. I think you get it, I do a lot of yoga, I study a lot blah blah blah. This week I'm gonna get real witchya, down and dirty real.

This week I was homesick. It hit me like a ton of bricks, Tuesday morning came and I was so sad. I was frustrated, I was over it, I was beating myself up and I wanted to be home in the arms of the my guy. I wanted to go to my moms and tell her how sad I was and I wanted to hang out with my sister and completely forget about myself, maybe get lost planning her wedding, or just some good ole' online shopping and memory lane skipping. But alas, I couldn't so I kept telling myself it would get better, I would wake up happier. And don't get me wrong, I had a good week. I had fun, I laughed, and studied, I did well, I worked hard, but the moment I let my mind take over I was back where I started, beating myself up, letting my insecurities take over and wanting to just give in and cry cry cry. I never really did it, I distracted my self and focused on the present moment...guys this stuff works! I said it last week, but if you live in the moment and tell your self, I am here, I am comfortable, I am breathing I am happy you will be, and I was. It's the best way to get through tough days and tough weeks. Don't avoid life, that doesn't help either, but turning it around. "Ok, I'm having a sad day, I'm having a bad day, ok, no biggie in the big picture, I have more good days than bad and I live a life that makes me happy, AND I'm doing something that will make my life and other peoples lives better...I can get through this" Turning it around worked, it took me all week, and I'm not gonna lie, it's Sunday and I'm still a bit homesick but I'm excited for tomorrow to start, I'm ready for week six and I'm gonna kick some yoga ass for the next 11 classes. And then! I get to go home, yes it's only for 24 hours, but I get to cuddle, laugh, and celebrate with the people I love the most, so week six is going to be a good week!

So here's to a good week, it's not to bad to be homesick, it's good news. It means there is a home somewhere else that I am happily returning to in 4 more weeks!

So I'm out peeps....Much love to you all! Sis, Alex, Mom Dad See you SATURDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (oh and sista, don't you worry, your gonna have a pretty amazing day! I am pretty sure of that one!)



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